HELSINKI, Finland /DenounceNewswire/ -- February 6, 1998 -- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, while inspecting a new Borg terraforming facility outside Helsinki, Finland, today admitted that the new term he introduced only yesterday to a clueless press -- the digital nervous system (DNS) -- was a "mistake". After millions of annoyed Internet system administrators pointed out in angry email to Microsoft overnight that the term "DNS" has been around for years and means "Domain Name Server", Mr. Gates acknowledged his error, adding, "D'oh! I forgot."

In addition, sources familiar with the situation leaked that Digital Equipment Corporation's (DEC) top legal counsel sent a sternly-worded memorandum to William Nuke'em, the corporate counsel for Microsoft last evening. The DEC memo said, simply, "Ahem", with a circle drawn around the company's letterhead.

After enjoying a Belgian cream pie lunch, Gates had pontificated yesterday, to a cheering swarm of recently-converted Borg inductees, that Microsoft's new "digital nervous system" project was well underway and complete control and domination over the world's communication and commerce networks was right on schedule.

An Ad-Hoc, Ad-Loc, And Quid Pro Quo, So Little Time and So Much To Know Committee (AHALAQPQSLTASMTKC) suggested that Microsoft use "BNS" instead of the well-known "DNS", to signify "Borg Nervous System."

"So we'll call it BNS instead of DNS" said a Microsoft spokesman today. "Not that it'll matter in the long run," he then uttered, smiling knowingly.

About Microsoft Corporation
Microsoft Corporation is the terrestrial name for The Borg, a collection of alien beings determined to control the universe and everything else.

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