MS-DOS 8.0 TURNS INTO HUGE HIT
SURPRISED MICROSOFT FORCED TO RETHINK MARKET STRATEGY
REDMOND, WA /DenounceNewswire/ -- April 2, 1997 - In what may be the strangest computer industry development in years, Microsoft's newly-released MS-DOS 8.0 has turned into "a raging success," says Bill Gates, someone who works at Microsoft.
In the past 10 weeks, Microsoft has sold 48 million copies of the $74.95 MS-DOS 8.0 upgrade package, generating over $3.5 billion. The upgrade replaces Windows 95 or NT, returning users to the old, familiar, "C:\>" prompt from years gone by. "If this rate stays steady for the rest of the year," Gates added, "then MS-DOS 8.0 will bring in a whopping $18 billion in additional revenue for the year."
"I told ya so," said Indu Strypundit, an industry pundit. "Over the last year, our market indicators had revealed a huge untapped market of millions of people fed up with Windows 95 and NT. Yearning for the old days, they've slipped back into the comfortable familiarity of DOS."
"We see a strong demand for SideKick, WordStar, and XyWrite," said Anna Lyst, chief analyst at Anna Lyst Analysts and Associates. "The market has really lost it this time, but as long as they're stupid enough to keep shelling out money to Microsoft, nobody's complaining."
In related news, Sun Microsystems today announced it had bought the rights to CP/M and and would be marketing the ancient operating system as an alternate to MS-DOS 8.0. "We'll be throwing in a free copy of WordPerfect 4.2," said Scott McNeally, Chief CEO at Sun.
Microsoft stock soared to a new high, but it was so far up that nobody could see it, so it's unknown how high it soared. NORAD offered to help track the stock with its radar, and NASA is going to task its Hubble telescope to assist in the effort.
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