Microsoft Conducts Nuclear Tests
QWERTYUIOP, WA /DenounceNewswire/ -- May 19, 1998 -- Microsoft Corporation has conducted three underground nuclear tests at the Qwertyuiop test range in the central desert region of Washington state, an action U.S. officials have called ``regrettable.''
Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates said today the three successful tests were conducted with a fission device, a low-yield device and a thermo-nuclear device.
Gates said, ``I congratulate the scientists and engineers who have carried out these successful tests.''
Not only is this the first time Microsoft has ever conducted nuclear tests, but this is also the first time any corporation has ever conducted such tests. Prior to Microsoft's action, only national governments had conducted such tests.
Gates only yesterday announced, in a stern open letter published as a full-page ad in numerous national newspapers, that Microsoft would pursue a nuclear program despite stiff international pressure.
(At the White House, a government official called the testing a ``regrettable incident'' and urged other software companies to show restraint.)
In a statement issued today, Microsoft declared, ``Preserving Microsoft's market dominance is our prime concern and for this we are prepared to vigorously defend our position and exercise all our options, including the use of nuclear weapons.''
Microsoft spokespersons say the nuclear program is necessary because of the threats posed by recent governmental lawsuits brought against the company.
"I'd say this gives 'vigorously defend' a whole new meaning," said Indu Strypundit, an industry pundit.
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