SEC Approves Plan for "Personal IPOs"

WASHINGTON, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 18 July 1998 -- The Securities and Exchange Commission today announced it has approved a plan which will allow any individual citizen to file for an initial public offering, the same way corporations have done for decades.

The plan, now slated to go into effect on September 1, will require individuals to file an S-1 form online on the SEC website, wait 60 days, after which they can go public. "We expect 10 million personal IPO's before the year's out," an SEC spokesperson said.

Individuals will pay the SEC a flat $900 fee, plus a $22,000 fee for a NASDAQ listing and stock symbol. Funds raised from the individuals' sale of shares of themselves can be used for any legal purpose, including but not limited to travel and the acquisition of a big house and a nice car.

Yahoo, Excite, AOL, and GeoCities all announced plans for Personal Stock Page listing services, free for life as long as each page includes fifty-two irrelevant advertisements that nobody ever really looks at anyway.

If the personal IPO's turn out to be a success, the US Patent and Trademark Office plans to adopt a similar service for patents, "shares" of which could be bought and sold on the open market. The U.S. Copyright Office is also considering a proposal which would allow copyrights to be IPO'ed as well.

While economists predict that not only will the onslaught of personal, patent, and copyright IPO's create "a nation of millionaires" and so much revenue for the Government that the existence of the IRS will no longer be necessary, many celebrities say they will stay privately held, in order to prevent hostile takeovers by fans.

Copyright © 1998 Birdrock Media Corporation. All Rights Reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Birdrock Media Corporation. DENOUNCE is a trademark of Birdrock Media Corporation.