January 16, 2004

Hubble to be Re-Aimed at Earth

New Mission for Famed Telescope: Homeland Security

Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 16 January 2004 -- NASA Administrator Sean O'Keefe announced today that the Space Hubble Telescope, the pride of astronomers everywhere, will be re-tasked with a new mission: homeland security. In order to carry out its new mission, the next shuttle team will fly up to the satellite and turn it around so it can face the earth.

"While a sad day for science, it is a great day for our nation's security," O'Keefe said. "With Hubble, we'll not only be able to track the license plates of terrorist cars, but be able to count the hairs on terrorists heads, and read the second hand on terrorists' watches. We'll be able to zoom in in real time to observe the movements of any man, woman, child, dog, cat, or flea anywhere on the earth. With luck we may even be able to finally locate those pesky weapons of mass destruction!"

O'Keefe also added that after conferring with President Bush yesterday, NASA will be renamed the NSEA, the National Spacial Entrepreneurship Administration, effective immediately. Posted by denounce on January 16, 2004 04:04 PM

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