April 02, 2008 at 10:13 AM

New Productivity Tool, FoolOrNot, Launches

Kapa'a, Kaua'i, HI -- 2 April 2008 (DENOUNCE NEWSWIRE) -- FoolOrNot Corporation announced today the release of FoolOrNot, a new web service aimed at worker productivity. Simply put, the service helps web users determine if a link they're about to click on will take them to content that is an April Fool's style joke or not.


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March 24, 2008 at 04:06 PM

RateMyPerp.com Draws Criminals' Wrath

LOS ANGELES, CA - 24 March 2008 (Denounce Newswire) - A new Web site is prompting outrage among many criminals.

RateMyPerp.com lists criminals' names -- some 1,400,000 and counting -- as well as the driver's license numbers and home addresses of many of them, and lets certain people, including law enforcement and victims, rate them.

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March 30, 2006 at 04:22 PM

New Photo Sharing Service, Kaloogr, Launched

Kaloogr, the new sharing service for deceptive photos

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January 29, 2006 at 10:07 AM

Google Appoints Singaporean President to its Board of Directors

Nathan to Chair Google's Thoughtcrime Committee

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 29 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced it has appointed Sellapan Ramanathan, President of Singapore, to its Board of Directors. As a government leader who presides over one of the global trading countries of the world, S.R. Nathan, as he is commonly called, will also serve as Chairperson for Google's new Thoughtcrime Committee. Nathan's appointment was effective January 29, 2006.

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Google to Remove "Climate Change" and "Global Warming" from search results

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 28 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google, Inc. today announced it has removed all references to "global warming" and "climate change" from its search results, at the direct request of the Bush Administration.


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January 28, 2006 at 06:55 PM

Google to Censor Liberal, Democrat Search Results

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 28 January 2006 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- Google, Inc. today announced that in accordance with its new policy on censorship, it has agreed to requests from the United States Government to remove references to many liberal, leftist, progressive, and activist organizations.

Prominent among sites and blogs that will no longer be searchable by Google are the American Association for the Advancement of Science's website, MoveOn.org, ALCU.org, Greenpeace.org, the Talking Points Memo blog, AirAmericaRadio.com, and DailyKos.com.

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November 13, 2005 at 02:37 PM

MySpace Confirms Partnership with U.S. Selective Service

All Existing and Future User Registration Data to Be Given to the U.S. Government

WASHINGTON, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 12 November 2005 -- In a joint press conference today, Rupert Murdoch, CEO of News Corp., Intermix CEO Richard Rosenblatt, and MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe announced that they have reached an agreement to provide a full and ongoing feed of Myspace membership data to the United States Selective Service System for the upcoming military draft.

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January 17, 2005 at 10:19 AM

Cal Poly Chooses Mac Minis for Supercomputer

1 million-node computer the largest in the world

17 January 2005 --- /Denounce NewsWire/--- California Polytechnic Institute and State University announced they are building a massive supercomputing cluster using Apple Computer Inc.'s new Mac Mini computer with 64-bit G4 processors.

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December 16, 2004 at 07:23 AM

Bush Prepares for Possible Internet Shutdown

WASHINGTON, 16 December 2004 --- /Denounce Newswire/ --- President Bush has ordered plans for temporarily disabling the Internet during a national crisis to prevent terrorists from using the technology, the White House said Wednesday.


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May 25, 2004 at 12:26 AM

BitTorrent To Release Michael Moore's New Film Free of Charge

Movie Industry Stunned By Latest Moore Move

Cannes, France /DenounceNewswire/ -- 24 May 2004 -- In a stunning move, controversial documentary filmmaker Michael Moore announced today that his latest film, "Fahrenheit 9/11", will be released by BitTorrent, the popular peer-to-peer file-sharing network.

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April 06, 2004 at 05:10 PM

Lindows Changes Name to Michaelsoft

San Diego, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 6 April 2004 -- Beleagured Lindows, Inc., the Linux desktop software company sued by Microsoft over alleged trademark infringement, announced today that it is changing the company's name to "Michaelsoft" effective immediately.


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April 01, 2004 at 11:18 AM

Denounce Newswire Closed in Observation of April Fool's Day

San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 1 April 2004 -- Denounce Newswire announced today that its offices would be closed on April 1st, 2004, in observation of April Fool's Day.

"This is our most sacred national holiday," said a spokesperson for Denounce Newswire. "Once a year we take a breather from our busy schedule while the rest of the world carries on in imitation of the work that we do every other day of the year."

Denounce Newswire will reopen for business tomorrow, April 2nd, 2004.


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February 19, 2004 at 10:58 PM

Tilting Diebold Voting Machines 25 Degrees Reveals 1 in 3 Are Rigged

Touch Screen Models Turn Out To Be Pre-set For, You Guessed It, Republicans

West Filabucket, CT /DenounceNewswire/ -- 18 February 2004 -- K.R., an eighteen-year-old programmer from West Filabucket, Connecticut today revealed on his web log that he had discovered that one in three Diebold AccuVote-TS electronic touch-screen voting machines, which are being widely used this year in elections across the country, do not actually accept the voter's vote, but rather, are pre-rigged to cast a ballot full of Republican candidates.

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DENOUNCE ADDS 1 BILLION NEW PAGES OF CONTENT

Satire Site Freaks Out Google's AdSense Engine

San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 19 February 2004 -- Denounce Newswire announced today it had expanded the breadth of its news coverage by more than one billion items. This innovation represents a challenge to Internet users, as there's no easy way to access the pages.

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January 28, 2004 at 08:44 AM

Friendster Secretly Shares Member Information with Government

For the good of national security, the firm says

San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 28 January 2004 -- Friendster gave information on members to the federal government for a secret cyber-security project, the company said Saturday.

Friendster is the second social network to be identified as secretly passing member records to the government. In September, LinkedIn said it turned over membership records to a defense contractor, later apologizing to its users.

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January 27, 2004 at 07:27 AM

Amazon Launches New Social Network Called "Pricekut"

Customers Can Now See and Comment on the Contents of Other Customers' Shopping Carts

Seattle, WA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 27 January 2004 -- Amazon.com announced today the launch its own "social network", called Pricekut, allowing its customers to meet old friends and make new ones while shopping for products on the site. The catch? A customer can only enter the social network by first making a purchase on the site, or by having a friend buy an item on his or her wish list. Like its name suggests, Pricekut members may buy items for less than non-members: typically they'll save 10 to 25 percent.

"This is by far the coolest feature we've ever released," said Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO. "We wanted to make shopping at Amazon more fun and even more social than it is already, and I think our millions of customers are going to be amazed how much fun and addictive this new feature is."

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January 16, 2004 at 04:04 PM

Hubble to be Re-Aimed at Earth

New Mission for Famed Telescope: Homeland Security

Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 16 January 2004 -- NASA Administrator Sean O'Keefe announced today that the Space Hubble Telescope, the pride of astronomers everywhere, will be re-tasked with a new mission: homeland security. In order to carry out its new mission, the next shuttle team will fly up to the satellite and turn it around so it can face the earth.


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November 05, 2003 at 12:51 PM

Tech Billionaires Team Together to Buy Warner Brothers Film Studio

Group Plans to Hire New Scriptwriters, Director, and Re-Shoot The Matrix Revolutions Next Week

Hollywood, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 5 November 2003 -- In the most dramatic and expensive takeover in film industry history, a group of high-tech billionaires, including Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Pierre Omidyar, and Larry Ellison, announced today the acquisition of the Warner Brothers film studio and film catalogue, as well as three other companies, with one stated purpose: to remake The Matrix Revolutions.

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September 24, 2003 at 12:45 PM

FEDERAL COURT RULES AGAINST FTC'S DO-NOT-CALL LIST

Direct Marketing Assocation Hails Ruling, Starts Calling Millions of People Immediately

New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/ -- 24 September 2003 -- The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) overstepped their bounds, a federal court ruled today, in establishing a national do-not-call registry. The court ordered that the registry immediately be stopped.

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September 16, 2003 at 11:31 AM

Other Industries Quick to Copy Verisign's Latest Tactic

Make a Typo, Get an Upsell

New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/ -- 16 September 2003 --Within 24 hours of Verisign Corporation's move to redirect non-existent domain name inquiries to their own advertising messages, companies in other industries have already unleashed similar tactics.

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September 14, 2003 at 11:38 AM

Massive Class Action Suit Brought Against Viagra Maker

Millions of Email Users Tired of "Viagra" Spam, Sue Pfizer "Just On General Principles"

New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/ -- 14 September 2003 -- Two hundred and twenty million people have added their signatures to the largest class-action suit in history, brought against Pfizer, Inc., makers of the Viagra drug. The suit contends that Pfizer is at least partly responsible for billions of dollars lost annually in personal and business productivity as a result of the massive amount of unsolicited email, known as spam, advertising the Viagra drug itself or its generic incarnations.

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September 09, 2003 at 11:54 AM

RIAA to Force ISPs Nationwide to Adopt Color-Code System

New System Will Scrutinize Each Internet User, Rating Their Risk Level for Music File Sharing

Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 9 September 2003 -- In the most aggressive -- and, some say, invasive -- step yet to protect record companies, the federal government and the Internet Service Providers (ISPs) will phase in a computer system next year to measure the risk posed by every Internet user every time they connect to the Internet.

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September 03, 2003 at 04:30 PM

Tower Records to Sell $13 Universal CDs for Under $18

Announcement Comes Same Day As Universal Music Group Announces Huge Price Cut On New CDs

West Sacramento, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 3 September 2003 -- Tower Records, the national record store chain known for its pierced, blue-haired salesclerks and equally scruffy clientele, announced today a plan to aggressively cut its prices for CDs published by the Universal Music Group to under $18. Tower's move comes in response to Universal's same-day announcement that it would lower the list prices of its CDs to under $12.98 in an effort to boost sales that have been stymied by free Internet music downloading services.

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August 29, 2003 at 04:58 PM

RIAA Reveals It Caused Recent Blackout, Biggest in U.S. History

Organization Claims Act Turned Out to Be "Surprisingly Effective" Way To Combat War on Digital Music Piracy

Washington, DC /DenounceNewswire/ -- 29 August 2003 -- The recording industry is providing its most detailed glimpse into some of the techniques it has employed as part of its campaign against online music swappers.

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August 11, 2003 at 04:59 PM

AOL Time Warner to Drop "AOL", "Time", and "-ner" from Company Name

New Name Reflects Both Current State of World and Company's Primary Source of Profits

New York, NY /DenounceNewswire/ -- 11 August 2003 -- AOL Time Warner, Inc., announced today it is planning to change its corporate identity to "War, Inc." The decision to remove "AOL," "Time," and "-ner" from the company's name will be made at a group board meeting next month.

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August 06, 2003 at 06:11 PM

Lindows Announces Release of DVD Player for Lindows

Features include Play, Stop, Eject, and Quit

San Diego, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 6 August 2003 -- Lindows.com, Inc. (www.lindows.com) today announced the release of Lindows DVD Player, a software application that joins a long line of Linux-based DVD player programs such as Xine, VideoLAN client, Mplayer, and Ogle. What makes the Lindows DVD player unique is its name and the fact that it costs money while the other applications don't.

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July 30, 2003 at 08:44 PM

eBay Launches Music Downloading Auction Site

Overnight, Consumers Flock to Service in Record Numbers

San Jose, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 30 July 2003 -- In a stunning move that has other industry players immediately reconsidering their strategies, eBay, Inc. today announced the release of eBay Music, a new marketplace for music downloading. The service, which allows consumers to bid on rights to download any of over 18 million songs, has consumers cheering and competitors including Apple, eMusic, Real.com, and Roxio scratching their heads. The eBay Music site offers more songs than all of the other music download services combined.


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July 25, 2003 at 10:45 PM

RIAA OPENS DETENTION FACILITY FOR SUSPECTED FILE SHARERS

Huge Compound Can Handle 3 Million File Sharing Suspects and Their Supporters

Mojave, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 25 July 2003 -- Citing lackluster results in its aggressive Subpoena-the-Family campaign, The Recording Industry Assocation of America, or RIAA, announced today it was escalating the war against music file sharing even higher by opening its massive detention facility in the high desert of Movaje, CA. The facility, designed to indefinitely detain up to three million people suspected of illegally or even legally sharing music files on the Internet, consumes 4,000 acres of the desert region some 70 miles north of Los Angeles.

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July 23, 2003 at 10:48 PM

F.O.A.F. PROJECT FIZZLES

Splinters Into 10 Competing Efforts

West Filabucket, CT /DenounceNewswire/ -- 23 July 2003 -- The project to design and deploy the "Friend of a Friend" social networking protocol, known by the acronym FOAF, has lost steam amid organizational infighting and competitive pressures. FOAF organizers expect the project to shut down or at least go on hold for the forseeable future.

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July 15, 2003 at 10:49 PM

MICROSOFT CHAIRMAN BILL GATES ANNOUNCES INTERNET EXPLORER FOUNDATION

Foundation's Mission Is To Continue "Undermining The Efforts" of Mozilla.org and Netscape

Redmond, WA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 15 July 2003 -- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates announced the creation of the "Internet Explorer Foundation", or IEF, a for-profit organization aimed at "undermining the efforts" of the Mozilla Foundation, a non-profit organization coincidentally also founded and announced today. In addition to continuing to strengthen IE's market stranglehold through aggressive marketing and monopolistic practices, the IEF also aims to undertake what it calls "a major study" to document once and for all how the IE product managed to take over Netscape's dominant market position in the Internet browser wars seemingly overnight. "Having such knowledge," says Gates, "will help guide us in future product endeavors."

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Copyright © 1996-2006 Birdrock Ventures. All rights reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Birdrock Ventures. Denounce is a satire website specializing in false press releases that are meant to neither inform nor educate. If it makes you smile and think, we've done our job. Your mileage may vary. Do not read while operating a vehicle. Denounce, Denounce.com, Denounce Newswire, and "All the News That Never Happened" are trademarks of Birdrock Ventures.

 
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