February 2001

February 21, 2001

FuckedCompany.com Raises $60 Million in Venture Financing

San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- February 21, 2001 -- FuckedCompany.com today announced it has raised $60 million in a second round of financing, from two top-tier firms, Kleiner Perkins and Benchmark Capital, giving the company a market valuation of more than $600 million. The site, which features breaking stories on dot com company failures, is growing at more than one million additional pageviews per hour, making it the current fastest-growing internet company in the world.

"We're thrilled to be a part of the FuckedCompany story," said Vinod Khosla, a partner at Kleiner Perkins. "These guys offer the right service at the right time for the right price. You can't beat that."

"This was a total no-brainer," said David Beirne, a partner at Benchmark Capital. "When the NASDAQ is in the toilet, where else would we turn, but FuckedCompany.com?"

"What's up with that," said FuckedCompany's chief executive officer, who goes by the name of Pud, adding, "it's cool and all, but, well, it's fucked, you know what I mean?" Pud declined to offer details on how the $60 million would be used, other than saying he would put it in the bank and keep it there.

About Kleiner Perkins
You know all you need to know about these people.

About Benchmark Capital
If you really want to know, read Randall Stross's book.

About FuckedCompany.com
FuckedCompany.com is the leading website on the internet for news and rumors about the boneheaded failures in dot com companies. Started in 1999, the site has grown to exceed the traffic and capacity of Yahoo, MSN, Amazon, Excite, AmIHotOrNot, and Napster combined.

Posted by denounce at 05:51 PM

Copyright © 1996-2004 Birdrock Ventures. All rights reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Birdrock Ventures. Denounce is a satire website specializing in false press releases that are meant to neither inform nor educate. If it makes you smile and think, we've done our job. Your mileage may vary. Do not read while operating a vehicle. Denounce, Denounce.com, Denounce Newswire, and "All the News That Never Happened" are trademarks of Birdrock Ventures.

Recognized around the world as the best source for completely fictional news and information.

When you're not looking for a reliable, accurate site for industry news, there's only one place to go: Denounce.

All fake. All the time.

About Us | Jobs |


Recent Entries