February 2004


February 19, 2004

Tilting Diebold Voting Machines 25 Degrees Reveals 1 in 3 Are Rigged

Touch Screen Models Turn Out To Be Pre-set For, You Guessed It, Republicans

West Filabucket, CT /DenounceNewswire/ -- 18 February 2004 -- K.R., an eighteen-year-old programmer from West Filabucket, Connecticut today revealed on his web log that he had discovered that one in three Diebold AccuVote-TS electronic touch-screen voting machines, which are being widely used this year in elections across the country, do not actually accept the voter's vote, but rather, are pre-rigged to cast a ballot full of Republican candidates.

K.R., who preferred his name was undisclosed, described how tilting a Diebold machine 25 degrees will reveal one of two words in the liquid-crystal display (LCD) touchscreen: "FREEDOM" or "TYRRANY."

"You have to have good lighting," says K.R. "The word appears towards the top center of the display, in a kind of blurry mask under the glass of the screen. It's only visible at exactly 25 degrees tilt, in a bright light."

If you see the word "FREEDOM", then voters using this machine will have their vote cast accurately. But if you see the word "TYRRANY," your votes will be ignored, and your ballot will actually be set to Republican-sponsored candidates and initiatives only.

Voters who care that their votes are counted are urged to check their touchscreen machines carefully, or insist on a traditional punched paper ballot.

Posted by denounce at 10:58 PM

February 19, 2004

DENOUNCE ADDS 1 BILLION NEW PAGES OF CONTENT

Satire Site Freaks Out Google's AdSense Engine

San Helifino, CA /DenounceNewswire/ -- 19 February 2004 -- Denounce Newswire announced today it had expanded the breadth of its news coverage by more than one billion items. This innovation represents a challenge to Internet users, as there's no easy way to access the pages.

"People worldwide can find more information with Google than with any other search engine," said Larry Page, Google co-founder and president of Products. What this quote has to do with Denounce, or Denounce's announcement of one billion new pages of content, was not explained, however.

Posted by denounce at 08:32 AM

Copyright © 1996-2004 Birdrock Ventures. All rights reserved. No redistribution or copying without written permission from Birdrock Ventures. Denounce is a satire website specializing in false press releases that are meant to neither inform nor educate. If it makes you smile and think, we've done our job. Your mileage may vary. Do not read while operating a vehicle. Denounce, Denounce.com, Denounce Newswire, and "All the News That Never Happened" are trademarks of Birdrock Ventures.

   
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