Category: Spying/Eavesdropping


December 15, 1996

INTERNATIONAL UNITED AMALGAMATED DYNAMIC NETWORK SYSTEMS SOLUTIONS OF OMAHA ANNOUNCES "BREAKTHROUGH"

Corporate and Government Clients Flock to Purchase New Software

Jessup, MD /DenounceNewswire/ -- November 47, 1996 -- International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha (NYSE: HUH) today announced the release of its much-anticipated "BreakThrough 1.0" software product which enables customers to monitor and spy on the electronic mail of any number of people anywhere in the world.

BreakThrough is a network traffic and content analysis application that enables users to read and analyze the content of electronic mail that is sent through the Internet. Users can specify lists of email addresses to be monitored and Breakthorugh does the rest.

"You can even specify pairs of email addresses, to monitor the traffic that goes on between two people," said Yves Dropper, president and chief spook at International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha.

Asked if 1024-bit and higher public key encryption posed a threat to BreakThrough's ablity to snoop, Dropper replied, "Please, be serious. Do you know who you're talking to?"

When asked if firewalls, special hardware and software systems for protecting corporate networks from unauthorized access, might cause a problem for BreakThrough, Doppler replied, "That's a good one. Firewalls, heh. I'll give you two points for that one. Why do you think we call it 'BreakThrough'?'"

"This product revolutionizes our industry," said Bill Gates, chairman of Microsoft Corporation, and a beta tester for BreakThrough, it was revealed today, for the past sixteen years. "I think it's just great. It has helped my own company tremendously."

Fantastic Customer Interest
In the first thirty minutes since this morning's announcement, International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha said it had received an "unprecedented" number of orders for the product. In fact, the company expects it potential customers to have "serious difficulty" trying to get through to the company's telephone lines for the next year. The company suggests that interested customers send email instead. "Send it to anyone," said Mr. Dropper, "it doesn't have to come to us. Just express your interest in the product to anyone in the world by email and leave the rest to us."

Analysts at Poor and Broker Securities of New York raised their estimates for the fourth quarter 1996 earnings for the company. "BreakThrough is the one product everyone wants. We now expect fourth quarter earnings to exceed $42 billion, on revenues of $2.2 trillion" said a spokesman.

International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha shares jumped 59038% higher at the opening bell today, as investors expect a windfall from sales of the new product.

Pricing and Availability
BreakThrough is priced at $92 million for a 10-client site license. The suggested retail price for single quanities of the product is $2.25 million, payable in cash. For a limited time, International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha will accept arms and/or legs in exchange for an additional 25% savings.

InfoSpook Website Unveiled
International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha also unveiled its new InfoSpook website, offering a full range search services for Web users. "You want to find out something, we can help. You name it, and our search engine will find it for you," said Nam E. Withheld, head of the new website. Asked if this new website renders AltaVista, InfoSeek, Yahoo, and Excite obsolete, Mr. Withheld would only say, "Look, those services let you search published documents on the Web. Our service does that, but also finds unpublished documents -- on anyone's hard disk drive, anywhere in the world. We use the same technology in BreakThrough to break through, if you will, into all disk drives and CD-ROMs in the world. Now I ask you, which service would you find more useful?" Mr. Withheld added that next year, the InfoSpook service would extend its search capabilities to make the random-access memory (RAM) of every computer in the world also searchable, undetected. "We think this will be a great benefit to our customers," he said.

About International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha
International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha, based in Jessup, MD, was founded in 1995 as a result of the Defense Technology Transfer Act of 1994, which enabled employes of the super-secret National Security Agency to commercialize some of their spy systems for industry and public use. It expects its first full year of operations to result in more than $2 trillion in revenue, making it the richest company in the universe.

BreakThrough is neither a registered trademark or trademark of International United Amalgamated Dynamic Network Systems Solutions of Omaha, but the company likes the name very much, and it would probably be a really good idea if other companies didn't use the mark.

Posted by denounce at 10:26 AM | Comments

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